So. Not moving. Living in Beaufort with my mom, but not moving.

I've also currently got this Zodiacs thing running in my head, and it won't leave me alone.

Also, thinking of asking a friend to celebrate my birthday with me. Which was on the thirtieth. Really I just want to spend time with him.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Post the first line from your 25 most recent fanfics and try to find a pattern.

1. High school: it’s filled with drama, drama, and—unsurprisingly—even more drama.

2. I am nothing.

3. Hello.

4 My name is David Tennant…technically, David MacDonald, but anyway, I’m a thirty-seven year old actor, born and raised and Scotland, with an apartment in London, which by the way in case you didn’t know is on Earth, the fact of which I’m pointing out because I currently have no Earthly idea where I am.

5. He regarded the group in the alleyway with a small, knowing smirk.

6. It was late at night, and she should probably have gone to sleep by now, but for whatever reason, she couldn’t force herself to do it.

7. Even as he was placed in the police holding cell, Kid couldn’t help but grin.

8. “Ai-chan!”

9. It had been a bad day.

10. It’s been nine years.

11. “…Ran?”

12. “You know, I’ll always love him,”

13. TapTapTap

14. 1 New Message from:
19627240391


15. What color are your socks?

16. They locked eyes.

17. Name: Katherine Kailey Jonas

18. “Oh, wow,” Ran exclaimed breathlessly, staring at her friend in amazement, “You look beautiful, Sonoko,”

19. A pair of blue-grey eyes reflected back at her from the surface of the mirror.

20. I can’t get stung!

21. He had been in the middle of his heist, just barely at the point where he had started to gleefully taunt Nakamori-Keibu, when something Completely and Utterly Random had happened.

22. At eleven years old, Ginny Weasley had found something she had thought, as her mother had told her, she would not find until she was much older.

23. It was raining.

24. He was laughing.

25. There is nothing more delicate than a house of cards.

ETA: Pattern: Short declarative statement.

Ergh. My mood is just kinda weird today. I'm starting to wonder about some things, which I really don't feel like going into here, because they feel too personal to go in detail about in an online journal. But, here's what my thoughts have centered around today, when I've been thinking alone:

Prom
Boys
My MP3 Player
House Dinner Tomorrow
Homework I haven't yet done

He smelt so good!

For the first time today, I noticed it. He was standing next to me, asking to make sure he had his answer correct, and I had to concentrate to answer him, because for the first time, I'd noticed it, and wow...

More often than not, when I find myself logging on to Myspace or whatever, no matter if it's been an hour or ten days, I find myself wishing for something-a message, a comment, that cheerful little green and orange icon proclaiming that he's online-from him. Because I do very much like him. And part of me wishes he knew that, but still another part of me just really wishes that we were closer as friends-because then, maybe if we were, he'd start to think of me the same way I think of him. But more than likely, the idea of that is impossible-we only have one class together.

In a life made up of confusion, the curve-balls life throws at you sometimes can end up being more than a little unexpected. But the one thing that I've always been sure of is that I can count on my friends when I really need them. From the first day I moved here and met Ashley (and by association, Will), she became the largest supporting pole in my safety net. As time passed and I started to meet new people and gain more friends, they became my supporting poles too, so that my safety net gradually became larger. It's become so that when I'm up here, balancing on the tightrope we call life, I feel safe in knowing that should I ever truly fall, they will be right there to catch me. But what if they can't be?

A few days ago I overheard my dad while I was in my room talking to his girlfriend, Erica, over the phone. They were talking about jobs. More specifically, they were talking about finding new jobs. I was confused why they were talking about that, and of course I figured that my dad was looking for a new job, and I was angry that he hadn't talked to me about it. But he obviously chose not to for a reason, so I didn't say anything about it.

Today, when he was picking me up from Chelsea's, he brought it up. He said that there were complications with his job that which for privacy issues I won't be going into here, and that he'd been looking around the area for a new one. Unfortunately, none of the places he applied to have gotten back to him. But he's also applied to other places further away. One was in Virgina, and they called him back. They did a phone interview, and they want to fly him up so that they can have a proper interview. They might even offer him a job. Which might mean I'd have to move. Again. But really, even if they like him, him taking the job is actually contingent on if we can sell the house or not.

I have mixed feelings about moving. On one hand, I really don't want to move. There are so many reasons. My friends, my classes-oh. my. god. How the FUCK would my classes transfer if I moved?!?!-the fact that when we first moved here he promised me that we wouldn't be moving again until I graduated high school. But still, if we moved he promised we'd be coming down here a lot on weekends. He has Erica, I have my friends, and we both have Danielle, because she'd be staying here. Fuck. If we do move, I really, really, incredibly hope that we don't move until at least after Christmas, if not the end of the year.

But at the same time, I'm really excited about the prospect of a bigger city. I know I'd hate moving-as if I'm not confused enough with who/what I want to be. On top of that, who wants to have to make new friends?
I'm just so lost right now.

I haven't posted in such a long time. Over a year ago. Kinda felt like I should today. So I am. I don't think I have actually much to say, other than-
I'm confused. About a lot of things. Like, what do I want to do with my life? I want to make a difference-but how do I do that? What can I be that will lead me to that? A doctor? I'll be thirty before I can get anywhere with that job. A screenwriter? A teacher? A Party Planner? What? What will I do?
Who will I be?
And I'm frustrated. This is the last (nice) comment that I received in my truth box on myspace:
"I hope you find a guy who will like you as much as you like them :) and I feel bad that it hasn't exactly happened for you yet, because you're a good person."
Do you know how frustrating it is for this to be true? For me to be sixteen (seventeen in less than four months) and never have even kissed a guy? or even held hands, or had a guy say that they like you in a non-platonic way? It's beyond frustrating...It's sad. Heh. But life goes on. And so must I...despite the fact that I'm wishing so hard that I'll finally get my first kiss on my birthday. I don't think I could take it if I turned seventeen and still had never been kissed.
Sigh...
Anyway, I had this dream the other night, and I thought I'd share it. It was sweet-and one of those dreams where I woke up experiencing a feeling from the dream.
I'm not sure where we are, but it's the tail end of summer and I had been traveling with a group of people on a road trip. We've stopped time being to stretch our legs and rest a little bit before going on. There are two cars, and I'm leaning against the back of the red one. We're done resting-I have to get back inside, but I really don't want to. The car is stifling, and I'm sick of traveling. As they're waiting for me to get back inside, my crush comes around to ask me why I haven't gotten back in the car. Half jokingly, I tell him that if he wants me in the car, he's going to have to carry me in. To my surprise, he does just that, lifting me up to carry me "bridal style" to the front of the car. As soon as he lifts me up, I freak out, and screech that I'm too heavy to carry and he needs to put me down, now! But he doesn't listen, and when he's at the front of the car, he quickly kisses my cheek and sets me down, climbing into the back of the car. Confused, I'm left to wonder at what just happened as I climb into my own seat. I woke up to the mysterious feeling of his lips still on my cheek.

Sigh. That's all for now.

I just finished reading it. Not including sleep, it took me somewhere around 18/19 hours to read the whole thing.

It is quite possibly my favorite in the series--it stands side by side with Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix. I loved everything about it--except, perhaps, the epilouge (XC). The thing I liked most in the epilouge, and that makes me laugh a little bit (but otherwise I frown at it) is Drago's receding hairline. XD!

( (SPOILERS START HERE) )

So, the midnight release party was great! I went with Ashley, and we had loads of fun. We met this guy, Dan, who was visiting from (I think) Conneticut, and he helped us with answering some of the questions on the Scavenger Hunt, and he was really fun. Nice to hang around. We stayed with him until about 11, I think, and then we stood in the growing line for an hour. We were like in the first 20/30 people to get the books, and as we stood in line, we snatched the first book and sang Hogwart's school song.

...to the rythm of "Puff the Magic Dragon" XD;

But it was great.

♥

So, I notice I haven't updated here in a while.

...yeah, no excuse for that.

But I come bearing gifts! Several!

( Stranger )

Argh. I'm pissed. I'm pissed, god damnit, because everytime I want to hang out with my friends, or do something fun, I can't. It can never be impulsive. It always has to be planned. Basically the only time I ever get to see my friends outside of school is either at the movies (which we have to plan out in advance) or at parties that I set up. this is so frustrating! I just want to hang out with my friends! Can't you understand that? I want to have fun, goof off, and do something! Instead I'm stuck potatoe-ing it up at home in front of the computer because I can't get ahold of anyone, or theres no way for anyone to get together!

God, this fucking sucks.

Dear God,

Please give us cars and licenses.

kthnxbai,

Love,
Nicole

I just got back from seeing Music & Lyrics with Ashley, Lauren, Gilberto, Emily, and Lindsey. I love that movie. I mean, the storyline alone is great in itself, but then, the fact that it has that guy (I think) from that one movie that me and my sister love...! Ahhh, it was just awesome. Everyone should go see it.

After that we went to Lotsa Late & Cream, and ordered 5 hot chocolates. I don't normally like HC, but I tried it and it was pretty good. But I got a different drink anyway. It was supposed to be a Raspberry and Mocha drink thing, but they made it wrong, and so I had Gilberto(only guy in the group) go back and correct it, because I didn't want to seem rude. They did. When he came back, it was really good, and I drank some of it, but then it started tasting like tea. Nasty Tea. We left and I threw it out. >< I don't even like coffee.

Check out my new pictures! These are just some of them. The rest are on my myspace or Photobucket. The guy I currently like is in some of them. Myspace is here: http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=84552481

*flails* Haley and I went shopping yesterday, and both of us found the cutest dresses at Ross'. Mine was red. Gorgeous. Haley's was black. Equally as gorgeous. I want it soooo much!!!! But I didn't get it, because I figured I'd be going to another place. But it was only 30 dollars, and there was a storewide clearence. *shoots self*

*wail~*

Do I even have any of my readers coming over to this thing? Probably not, 'cause I'm Just That Lame. But just in case, I'll put down this note anyway. I am, I am working on the third chapter of Unlocking Destiny, but I'm having trouble with it. I've written like, three or four drafts of the opening scene, but it's just not working. I'll probably have to take a different angle to it.

I made a couple of icons. If anyone who checks this wants to use them, go ahead. Jsut make sure to credit.

( Icons )

The other day as I was comming up from lunch I saw Andrew. I was so happy; Chelsea says I blushed. But dangit I forgot to say hello to him! ARAGH!!!

Additionally, I've been watching Season Zero of Yu-Gi-Oh! on YouTube. O.o;; Is the fact that Kaiba's hair is bright lime green. Makes me want to write a fic about Mokuba commenting on how he can see his brother's roots again, because they had to die his hair back to a normal shade when he transfered, but the shade is lighter than his actual hair color.
Also watching Sailor Moon, Card Captor Sakura, and Hikaru no Go. I love YouTube.

That is all. *bows and fades out of sight*

Okay. So. Anyone anxiously awaiting the next installment of Unlocking Destiny will be sorely dissapointed. I know I have no reall excuse to be saying this after I didn't update for over a year, but my chapter's being stubborn. I know whats going to go on; by the middle of the third chapter it'll probably be a breeze to write, but the begining is where I'm having trouble. Hikaru and panic don't usually go hand in hand, and so I'm having trouble with it, even if I am managing to make it seem plausible.

And, also, I've decided to do an Idea Dump. I've had a previous idea dump on LJ, right over here, so this'll be my second. Too many ideas taking ove my brain at once, and usually if I get them out into the internet they leave me alone. Last time I had, like, six. This time I have over 13.

( Here they are. )

Something seems to be really off today with my family. Things got off with a lame start today, mainly because of my dad. He's owed me about eighty bucks for over a month now, which has dwindled down to fifty because of my party, and he kept saying he'd pay me. So today what does he do? He pulls the money out of his wallet and says "Do you know what I have for you?" and counts out a 20, another 20, and a 10.
"My money" I say. "Can I have it?" And I hold out my hand for it.
"No"
"WHAT?!"
"You have bad experience with bringing money to school and getting it stolen out of your purse."
Yeah. Okay. That happened, what, twice? So I lost a total of 10 bucks five months apart from each other. AND it happened over two years ago, back in seventh grade. Since then I haven't ever let my purse out of my sight, nor have I ever had a large amout of money stolen from me. Plus, the two times that I had my money stolen from me it was only stolen because I was wearing a skirt and had to put my money in my purse.
I'm wearing pants today. Days I wear pants I keep my money in my pockets. People don't steal money out of my pockets. I'd notice.
Then he later, once he put my money in my room (which was stupid since we were already in the car) he gives a half-assed appology, "You were right, Nicole. I appologize."
That was like, FUCK YOU.

But School-wise I had a great time. I thought today was gonna S-U-C-K!, but it didn't. It seems as if the Cosmic Karma surrounding me refused to allow me to keep myself down today. Chelsea gave me some new Naruto Cards, Haley let me rant to her, we have a new girl Katie in our Algebra 1 class (who was in my Algebra class last year ^_^) whose also in my World History and Physical Science classes.
In English we started TKAM. We have to finish the 1st chapter tonight.
In Study Hall Damien, Haley, and I passed notes. Just because I feel like it, I'll let everyone who reads my journal also read my notes. The first person is the initiator of the note passing. I'll be purple, Haley Bold, and Damien Italisized.

( Me--Haley )

( Me--Damien )

I had a (minor) confrontation with Will today. Sort of cornered him after scool and was like, "Hey, you didn't wave to me!" He claimed not to have seen me. The whole conversation was about 7 sentences, and the longest we've had since the end of last year. I left him with these parting words and a small push:

"You never see me anymore."

Before I walked away.

Well, after that, my mom picked me up after school. And she yelled at me for not getting in the car fast enough, which wasn't my fault. All her stuff always completely covers the back seat. I couldn't have sat down immediatly even if I'd wanted to, not without several things poking me in the ass at once at least. I was just moving the stuff so I could sit, and she yells, "Just get in the car!"

e.e Yeah. YOU get in the backseat and have millions of things poke YOU in the ass.

But, overall I had a good day. ^____^

[/long entry]

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g256/CryLittleSister1412/hfdkal.jpg

This is Talon, Trent, Ruben, and Andrew (obviously). Ruben's hispanic--I accidently made him look Muslim.

And, from my Journal that I wrote in keyboarding today:

November 2, 2006

What the heck? Am I releasing some kind of pheromone that makes members of the opposite sex act weird around me? Because seriously, what the hell? It almost seems like—like guys have been drawn to me lately. Not all guys, mind you, but some guys. Ruben, Talon, Trent…..?? Ruben I think is weird/creepy. I’ve seen him staring at me in Science and he talks to me weird; almost like he knows me, or like he wants to know me. And then Talon is just acting like—I don’t know! It’s like he likes me, or something. I can’t explain. And then also Trent—he’s so cute. I’ve written about him before, and how much he confuses me, but it hasn’t gotten any better. He still completely confuses me. He’s one of the “Popular People” and it’s like he’s trying to pull me into the “Popular Group” and he makes me want to do that. But he has a girlfriend, and if he weren’t so confusing I could—would, well, maybe. I don’t know. And then their’s still Andrew. Do I still like him? I think I do. He’s cute. I don’t see him as often, though. I’m just confused. Why does high school have to be so confusing?

All my love,
Nicole


I should go write my thing for english now. Ugh.

Daylight savings time screws me up. I went to sleep at about 2-ish, right after Ashley left, and just woke up a couple of minnutes ago. I really thought it was time for school, got up, started getting dressed, and then realized my clock said PM. So, I just got back into my Pjs and came downstairs.

After my party, several people left things here. Ashley left her bracelets, Lauren her earring(s?), and Sarah her CD and apron to her costume. :P

The party was tons of fun--we talked so much that we stayed up until 5/6 in the morning(at least I did, the last two hours a movie was on and I think everyone but me fell asleep immediatly.) Will came up alot, unfortounatly, and we talked about him and how we think he's either on drugs, in denile about being gay, or both.

We also held a Seanse to channel Tyrrel(SP?) Pickny. I was outside the circle, so I could watch, and I didn't like it. I think we managed to get him, but not without another joining in. Near the end, we heard this laugh, and then...we dismissed Tyrrel, and I made everyone close the seanse. It was too freaky.

So, yeah. That was pretty much it.

My Halloween Party is today(Horray!)! I'm baking the cakes now, so will come back and write more once I'm finished with them.